Making it So
Sir Patrick Stewart

I’m back on my autobiography bullshit.
At 432 pages, it would seem Patrick Stewart has a few things to say about himself.
I’ll say up front what I didn’t care for and that’s the few times Sir Patrick jabs in to comment on his daughter not forgiving him for his affair which destroyed his first marriage. Perhaps betrayal trauma is just too close to me, but it felt cloying. He mentioned on several occasions not feeling close to his daughter and that it was his affair that drove in this wedge, but not particularly anything he’s done to try and repair it. Instead it’s a wistful ‘I’m old and going to die someday, hope she gets over how I treated her mom’.
That’s up front and there now. Perhaps he has made many efforts with his daughter and didn’t wish to betray her privacy, but those comments did stick in my craw.
Sir Patrick does a brilliant job of delicately planting in that, well, maybe he wasn’t always a nice guy. Maybe he wasn’t always the least aggressive man there is. But he talks at length about how these outbursts he has had, spells of immaturity or being a rude coworker, are something he fears, in review of how his father behaved and what trauma he witnessed. It’s something that when he recognizes it, he strives to stamp it out.
He doesn’t hold back and he appears to be honest, and on the edge of that same dime, he doesn’t linger on failings. He lingers on his own insecurities and imposter syndrome, that he still feels regret and humanity, true compassion for his younger self navigating his career, and he lingers most heavily on his career. It is extremely clear and true that he takes exceptional pride in his work and in the people he has inspired, taught, and touched by his portrayals. It is how he feels he can do the most good, express himself, and be known, and that is beautiful. And it’s sad, too, because it’s clear in his few passing but repeated comments, he hasn’t been able to connect to his daughter that way. And that schism clearly bothers him. He portrays great gratitude for those who he can inspire and be close with.
The most prevalent thing, other than his clear love of his work and reliance on it, is how youthful his narrative voice is. Sir Patrick Stewart, for lack of better explanation, does not write like a man in his 80s. There is little sense of reflection but instead a sense of forward motion. He’s far from done.